25 and sitting on $25 million

By SYED MIKHAIL HUSSAIN | 11/28/2013, 6 a.m.

The reason why I share this is because I know I’m not the only one. One conversation with co-workers or a quick scroll through my Twitter timeline shows that our whole generation is buying Louis Vuitton belts, going to Miami for our best friend’s birthday and trying to finance things we really can’t afford. Personally, I have a closet of Nudie jeans I don’t need and two pairs of Prada shoes I don’t wear.

Wait, that makes me sound like I’m throwing around some disposable income because I can. Let me rephrase that: I have a closet of Nudie jeans that I can’t afford and two pairs of Prada shoes that I should have never even tried on.

I’m not Carrie Bradshaw, and this isn’t “Sex in the City.” Honestly, she probably couldn’t afford half the stuff she bought on a freelancer’s income either. But when you hear your favorite rapper spit a lyric that’s so cool that you have to instantly make it your status (“Hold up, lady at Wendy’s! Kendrick Lamar just said he’s about to murder these other rappers, and I need to tweet this now! My spicy chicken sandwich can wait.”), it just adds to the deep desire to want to stunt like him. Have you seen Meek Mill’s Instagram? That dude owns like 63 Rolex watches, a Starbucks location built entirely out of gold and an aquarium filled with virgin tears. What? That’s crazy.

People expect such craziness from rappers, though, because they’re rappers. You? No. No one expects you to have suicide doors on your car. (Actually, if you own a Honda, it’s probably better if you don’t.) It’s not wise of you to get a table at the strip club so often that the bottle service girl knows your name. (Bambi has a C-section scar you can see if you look close enough, and she’s not as cute in daylight hours.) It’s smarter to invest in a quality wardrobe than to blow $120 on the new Kanye West x A.P.C. T-shirt. (It’s a white T-shirt. That’s it. Hanes makes the same shirt. I promise you, no girl is going to be taking off her panties over your $100-plus white T-shirt.)

I’m not sure if this “ball so hard muthaf—s try to fine me” culture is going to end anytime soon, but the sooner our generation is aware that rappers live a fantasy life that’s not attainable for us commoners, the better. I want to live it up like the rest of them, but we need to realize that those Instagram likes aren’t paying the bills. Let’s have the goal be “25 and sitting on $25,000” before we go all crazy. Cool?