Across our nation, uncertainty is shaping how we see the world — and, sadly, how we sometimes treat one another. From long waits at the grocery store to being put endlessly on hold while urgently needing public assistance, people are more anxious, impatient, and on edge. I’ve seen it firsthand: neighbors who once greeted each other warmly now keep their distance; customers snap at service workers; people facing hardship lash out at the very helpers trying to lift them up.
As someone who’s spent more than three decades on the frontlines of compassionate care, I understand where this pain comes from. People are overwhelmed. They’re worried about their futures — about the cost of housing and food, about whether they’ll keep their health coverage, about how to care for their families when so much feels unsteady. This year has tested our collective resilience. But it has also reminded me that the most radical, and healing, thing we can do this holiday season is to show compassion.
At Alliance for Positive Change, compassion isn’t just a value; it’s the foundation of everything we do. Since our beginning in 1991 at the height of the AIDS crisis, we’ve been a haven for New Yorkers living with HIV, other chronic illnesses, substance use disorders, and the interconnected struggles of poverty and stigma. Today, our staff and trained Peer Workers reach more than 20,000 New Yorkers each year with life-changing services — connecting them to health care, housing, live-saving overdose prevention, recovery supports, and pathways to economic independence.
Every day, our counselors, case managers, housing specialists, and Peer leaders open their doors and hearts to people who are experiencing trauma, illness, and systemic injustice. They do so, recognizing that kindness is not always met with kindness. Tension can rise when someone feels unseen or unheard. But even in those moments, our teams respond with empathy. Why? Because connection can change lives.
We believe positive change begins with humanity. At Alliance for Positive Change, this means meeting people where they are, without judgment. Whether that’s offering a safe space to someone newly diagnosed with HIV, walking beside a person navigating recovery, or securing housing for an individual in crisis, compassion shapes how we listen, guide, and act. Compassion lights the path forward.
Over the years, I’ve learned that compassion isn’t soft; it’s strong. It takes real courage to look past someone’s anger and see their fear. It takes patience to serve others when your own plate feels full. It takes faith to believe that, despite the hardship before us, people can and do transform their lives when they’re treated with dignity.
Recently, I witnessed the power of compassion: a woman exploded at the Brooklyn ministry where I serve as a pastor and stormed off. Another parishioner ran after her, took her by the hand, and asked what she was going through. That empathy not only calmed her, but brought her back to the sanctuary.
My work at the ministry and at Alliance for Positive Change has shown me that compassion is a daily practice, a choice to connect rather than withdraw. It starts in small ways: a gentle response to a harsh word; a smile that acknowledges another’s struggle; a willingness to listen instead of judge. Those simple acts ripple outward, changing our communities in quiet yet profound ways.
This giving season, as we gather with loved ones and reflect on what matters most, I encourage everyone reading this to bring more compassion into your daily interactions. Consider the person behind the counter who might be working two jobs to stay afloat. The neighbor who seems aloof may be battling unseen grief or fear. The person who feels at the end of their rope and seeks our support deserves our grace because they, too, carry the weight of our collective hardship.
When we lead with compassion, we expand what’s possible. We create room for understanding, healing, and positive change. We move closer to the kind of world we all say we want — one grounded in mutual care and respect.
At Alliance for Positive Change, compassion continues to light the path forward. Each Peer who finds recovery and now mentors others, each client who finds stable housing, each staff member who has chosen patience over frustration — together they prove that compassion is more than an emotion; it’s an action, a resource, and a form of strength.
So, in this season of giving, let our contributions go beyond dollars; let’s give attention, empathy, and hope. We can all practice compassion at our jobs and in our homes and in our neighborhoods. When we do, we participate in healing others and ourselves.
Because kindness — particularly when times are hardest — is how we remind each other that we are in this together.
Brenda Starks-Ross is Deputy Executive Director and Chief Operating Officer at the Alliance for Positive Change, a New York-based nonprofit helping more than 10,000 New Yorkers annually living with HIV, and other chronic illnesses, or substance use challenges, find healing, stability, and purpose.