Most women usually try to make others happy. When the need to please goes awry, it can interfere with success in your professional and personal lives. You often push yourself harder, ignoring your own needs. Sometimes there are sabotaging thoughts about being thinner and prettier that come into play. Noted psychologist and author Dr. Patricia O’Gorman addresses these subjects in her groundbreaking book, “The Resilient Woman: Mastering the 7 Steps to Personal Power.” This book is a vital guidebook for today’s woman.
According to O’Gorman, “Women seem wired to have to make others happy, and if they don’t live up to these self-imposed expectations, they blame themselves for the hardships that befall them.” In “The Resilient Woman,” O’Gorman offers a thoughtful analysis of the causes of negative thoughts as well as in-depth self-evaluation assessments any woman can use to identify her personal strengths, weaknesses and resilience style. She created seven daily steps that give you concrete strategies to create and strengthen your own resilience. The book is a must-read self-growth tool for women of any age.
The book helps you discover what resiliency is and is not–and how to achieve it. “Women often miss the path toward achieving their true potential because they have been conditioned to blame themselves for something someone else has done to them,” said O’Gorman. “But with the right tools to break the cycle, they will learn to consciously harness and nurture their strengths and find the personal assets we often take for granted. A resilient life is generated, not from things that happened to us, but from our reaction to them.”
In an interview with the AmNews, O’Gorman gave more insight about resilience.
AmNews: What is resilience?
O’Gorman: Resilience are those strengths and skills we develop when we are faced with hardship, when we find ourselves dealing with adversity, when we face those challenges that we wish we never had to experience.
What do you mean by “personal power?”
So many times women are not in touch with their power, yet they do get through. They survive and even thrive. Women often learn by going through their challenges. Personal power is the result that comes from consciously developing our resilience.
You have exercises throughout the book. What role do they serve?
The exercises allow each woman to go deeper into each area developing resilience, to individualize the material and make it personal for them. These exercises also allow women to have a way of revisiting how they are developing and using their resilience after they have faced another challenge. In this, women develop their own roadmap.
O’Gorman shared the seven steps to personal power:
* Step One–Make your crisis meaningful: Choose to develop conscious resilience.
* Step Two–Uncover your hidden resilient voice: Use your own wisdom to determine what is right for you.
* Step Three–Create helpful boundaries: Take charge and stop setting yourself up.
* Step Four–Protect your heart: Love resiliently.
* Step Five–Become strong in the hurt places: Heal your wounded self.
* Step Six–Think positive: It’s the best revenge.
* Step Seven–Develop gratitude for who you are and what you have learned.
O’Gorman is an internationally recognized psychologist, coach and public speaker for her work on women, trauma and substance abuse. She was one of the first researchers of children of alcoholics in the early 1970s. She is a veteran of numerous television appearances, including “Good Morning America,” “Today” and “AM Sunday,” and she is the author of numerous articles for a variety of magazines. “The Resilient Woman: Mastering the 7 Steps to Personal Power” is available in fine bookstores, online outlets and author’s websites, including hcibooks.com andpatriciaogorman.com.