They have one last chance. The Chicago office of a company is going to close unless they land a 14-million-dollar contract. And it’s Christmastime and they have until the end of the year to close the deal. The CEO (Jennifer Aniston) would love to shut down this operation run by her brother (T.J. Miller), who she resents for a number of long simmering sibling-issue reasons. The office staff decides the best way to convince the guy (Courtney B. Vance) making the decision about the big contract is to invite him to their office Christmas party. They also ignore their CEO’s specific instructions not to have the party.

It’s a busy time of the year so I won’t drag this out: “Office Christmas Party” gets our lowest rating: Dead on Arrival. It starts with a weak premise: If we can get this guy to our party, he’ll have fun and give us $14 million! Wining and dining is a component of business dealings, but office holiday parties are usually not the route to land big deals.

This movie does boast a strong cast: Jennifer Aniston, Justin Bateman, T.J. Miller, Olivia Munn, Courtney B. Vance and “Saturday Night Live” alums Kate McKinnon and Vanessa Bayer. But the characters they play are not interesting. Even in a comedy the characters have to be worth watching.

The most successful comedies ever made all featured individuals viewers connected with. Macaulay Caulkin was the cute kid left behind in “Home Alone.” Audiences identified with the unemployed actor played by Dustin Hoffman, who dressed up like a woman to get a job on a soap opera in “Tootsie.” Eddie Murphy hit pay dirt as a Detroit detective investigating a murder in glitzy Beverly Hills, in “Beverly Hills Cop.”

Back to “Office Christmas Party.” The film relies heavily on devices that can enhance humor but cannot alone make a movie funny: crazy drugs and alcohol-induced accidents and sexual shenanigans. The writers even throw in some car chase and wreckage scenes. And just like the cars, this film crashes too.

It does get an A- minus for cast diversity. People of color play prominent roles in this movie. However, it gets a minus because that diversity excludes Hispanic characters.

“Office Christmas Party” is rated R for crude sexual content and language throughout, drug use and graphic nudity and is 105 minutes in length, and it’s Dead on Arrival.