Just as we settle into our New Year’s resolutions, here we are once again contemplating what to sacrifice in recognition of Lent. Add that Lent coincides with Valentine’s Day, followed by the new moon, partial solar eclipse and Chinese New Year and we have a lot of metaphysical activity.
Speaking of Valentine’s Day, how was yours? The special occasion got a lot of play this year. I saw one commercial with suggestions of what to do on that special day. Personally, I thought they were all rather trite. On screen appeared a young woman saying, “Think outside of the box. Who wants a card, roses, candlelit dinners, Champagne and chocolates, year after year?” At the risk of sounding anti-millennial, I do. Valentine’s Day is traditionally a time of love, a time to break open your heart and your mouth and perhaps whisper passionately in someone’s ear, “I love you.” It is a day and night when you play romantic music, think romantic thoughts and dream romantic dreams before the realities of the next day set in. How often do we get to be mushy and it’s OK?
What ever happened to looking forward to using Valentine’s Day as a day of passionate kissing? Can you remember your first kiss, best kiss, worst kiss, the person you always wanted to kiss but never did? How about the person who you kissed only to say “Yuck,” afterward? How about the person you kissed and couldn’t kiss enough? Have you ever spent time daydreaming about the perfect kiss? What would it be like, where would it take place, what would you be wearing, or not wearing? We’re talking about a kiss now, just a kiss, nothing more, nothing less.
How did kissing originate? Did Eve kiss Adam before tempting him with the apple or kiss him after he took that first bite? Or did Adam kiss Eve after taking the bite as a way of saying thank you? Believe it or not, there are studies and theories on the origin of kissing. According to an article in Psychology Today, written by Neel Burton M.D., “The History of Kissing,” dated Feb. 14, 2014, some anthropologists have suggested, “The Greeks learned about erotic kissing from the Indians when Alexander the Great invaded India in 326 B.C. However, this need not mean that kissing originated India.” The Greek historian Herodotus, who lived in the fifth century B.C., and is often referred to as “The Father of History,” spoke of kissing among the Persians, who greeted men of equal rank with a kiss on the mouth and those of slightly lower rank with a kiss on the cheek. Should one refer to the Bible, the chapters in “Song of Songs” repeatedly profess, “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth, for thy love is better than wine.”
During early Roman times, kisses served to seal an agreement. Is that where the phrase “sealed with a kiss” was derived? Is that where the tradition of couples who marry end the ceremonial ritual with a kiss? I recall as if it were yesterday, the minister who officiated my wedding, the late Frederick B. Canon, saying, “I now pronounce you husband and wife,” and how I eagerly and joyfully looked forward to the moment when we would share our first kiss as a married couple before all who gathered to witness our vows. Charles and I turned to face one another, looked into each other’s eyes, held each other in a tender embrace and kissed long and passionately until Canon broke the magical moment stating, “OK you two.”
After the fall of Rome, the romantic kiss seems to have disappeared from the annals of history for more than 1,000 years. It would be the end of the 11th century before a kiss would re-emerge with courtly love. Who could forget the kiss between Romeo and Juliet, Maria and Tony and Tristan and Isolde, the forbidden kiss?
Now that my daughter is only six months away from becoming a teenager, I often wonder who will be her first kiss? Will she tell me all about it? Will one kiss lead to another? Will they learn to look past the kiss to sharing ideas, activities and values, which will lead to a further kiss?
Robbie Gonzalez, author of the article, “Where Did Kissing Come From?” filed in the Daily Explainer, 2015, took a more scientific approach to kissing. The science and study of kissing is known as philematology, and he stated, “Densely packed nerve endings make your lips some of the most acutely sensitive regions of your entire body, and few things get them more riled up than a kiss. Stimulation of the lips causes intense signals of temperature and pressure to embark on a short but purposeful journey to the brain. In our more intimate encounters, neurons detonate with excitement, chemicals surge throughout the body, heart rates accelerate and tissues flush as they warm and swell with blood. The whole experience is a remarkably pleasurable one.”
Sheril Kirshenbaum, a science writer and author of “The Science of Kissing,” has hypothesized, “A kiss puts two people in very close proximity. Our sense of smell allows us to pick up subconscious clues about the other person’s DNA. Women are most attracted to the scent of men who have a very different genetic code for their immune system. Pairing off with a mate who has a different set of genes for immunity can lead to children that will have a higher level of genetic diversity, making them healthier and more likely to survive.”
So, we kiss and make up. We kiss and say goodbye. We kiss hello and kiss goodnight. Who doesn’t love Hershey’s kisses? How about Conrad Birdie singing, “One Last Kiss” in the movie “Bye Bye Birdie?” Who can forget that catchy tune? And the ultimate kiss of them all: “You don’t have to be rich to be my girl. You don’t have to be cool to rule my world. Ain’t no particular sign I’m more compatible with. I just want your extra time and your kiss.”
Until next week … kisses.