The organization WARM (WE ALL REALLY MATTER) will host its ninth annual domestic violence forum on Oct. 24, 2019, at the Salem United Methodist Church.
The non-profit organization was birthed by Stephanie McGraw, a Harlem native who is also a domestic violence survivor. WARM caters to the needs of African American women in the Harlem community to raise awareness about domestic violence.
“When you can’t see healthy models you repeat what you see,” says McGraw. “My eyes were lenses and as a child when your eyes are seeing trauma and violence, they take pictures. I had no clue what healthy relationships looked like.”
This is a story that is not just familiar to McGraw. According to the National Association of Black Social Workers, “85% to 95% of domestic violence survivors are women,” and The National Black Women’s Health Project identifies domestic violence as the number one public health issue for women of African ancestry
This year’s keynote speakers include John M. Palmer, Ph.D., clinical psychologist, and moderator Cynthia Grace, Ph.D, who is also a clinical psychologist.
McGraw looks back at how she was told to handle the painful moments in her life. “Be a strong Black woman. Be quiet, don’t talk about it. I didn’t see any woman like me talking about domestic violence.” Just like many Black women in the community, this is how many are taught to cope. “Black women were always told to chase materialistic things to heal internal trauma,” says McGraw. “But the richness of who you are is within you.”
The age range of women who come in to join the non-profit organization for help with domestic violence includes 18 to 65. This year, McGraw also wants to start involving men in the equation of healing because they need to get the help that they need as well. Most of the perpetrators in domestic abuse situations are men and domestic violence often has to do with control over another person sexually, emotionally, physically and economically.
The many levels of domestic violence include the stigma of therapy and mental health in the Black community as well as the excessive violence shown in the movies, films, households and community itself.
“They ain’t coming in here and fixing us because pain pays. They would rather keep us in pain to get the wigs, to get our nails done, to buy the Gucci bags, we gonna buy the Fendi, we gonna buy all the latest designer clothes because with pain, if you don’t get in touch with your reality to understand what your reality is trying to give you, then you will never get an opportunity to heal. You will always look on the outside and the healing is not on the outside of us, it’s on the inside of us,” urges McGraw.
“I teach women to embrace their dirt because nothing can grow without the dirt anyways!”
For more information, visit www.weallreallymatter.org, email weallreallymatter@gmail.com or call 646-488-0338.