What does it mean to have someone as your best friend for 43 years, and as your husband for 34 years? It means the world. It means that this person is your lover, friend, protector, supporter, your haven from the storm. This is the person you speak to every night before you fall asleep. This is the person you were blessed to have in your life.
That is what I felt for my loving husband, Christopher Armstrong, and that is why when he passed on January 26, 2023, I felt the pain, sadness, and agony of losing the only man who captured my heart and soul, and always gave me unconditional love.
Let me tell you about him.
Christopher Armstrong was born April 6, 1962, the oldest son of Thelma and James Armstrong, in Brooklyn, New York. He attended Somers Junior High School in Brooklyn, where he was a trumpet player in the school band that made All City and was the youngest group of students to play at Carnegie Hall.
Chris attended South Shore High School, was part of the Co-Op program, and went to school on alternate weeks while working at New York Life Insurance as a management trainee. Chris received both an associate’s of science and bachelor’s of science degree from Empire State University. He was a marvelous student with an overwhelming zest for learning.
Throughout his life, Chris worked at several types of jobs, from life insurance in his younger years to nonprofits that worked with youth, which was his passion. He held positions with Sheltering Arms at a youth detention home in the Bronx and at St. Christopher Ottilie, a shelter for homeless young men, as director of Epiphany for many years, developing programming to inspire and support these young men, including an inspirational speaker series where successful business people, and theater and television actors like Keith David and musicians like legend Max Roach, came and shared their stories.
He was also the recreation coordinator at Women In Need’s Junior Street Family Shelter for many years, assisting children with developing their minds and love for cooking, and creating special projects that included an Egyptian exhibit, where the young people dressed in the traditional clothing and prepared traditional dishes from the region that he taught them to make. There was even a mummy that he and the young people made together, and they staffed stations to explain facets of Egyptian life and culture.
Chris was always about the youth. He founded the Brownsville Youth Organization as a teenager and provided programming for local community kids. Even as a teenager, Chris would never turn a young person away who needed to talk. He served throughout his life as a father figure, a mentor, and a friend to so many young people.
In his later years, Chris was diagnosed with renal failure and was unable to continue working, but in his spirit, he knew that he had to bring joy to people. At his dialysis center, he was called the Candy Man and the Cake Man: Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, he would give a bag of candy with three Tootsie Roll Pops taped to it to both staff and the other patients. Chris’s joy was in seeing their smiling faces, and it meant so much to him to do that for them.
An avid baker, he made cakes of all types with great love and would often go into dialysis with cakes to share with the staff and other patients. He brought joy into the room wherever he went.
And he was a lover of old-style music of the ’70s, ’80s, and ’90s. He loved R&B music and love songs, and could often be heard playing them on his iPad at dialysis and sharing his favorite music with others.
Chris was the beloved father of Linda Nicole and Jasmine Michelle Armstrong. His daughters were his world, as was I, as well as his five-year-old Havanese dog Muffy. He was very proud of his daughters’ accomplishments in life so far and those to come.
Chris and I were high school sweethearts. Between us were more than 43 years of shared experience, friendship, love, and support.
Chris is survived by me; daughters Linda and Jasmine; mother Thelma Armstrong; younger brother Michael Armstrong; sister-in-law Yvette Armstrong; and older siblings JT Snell, Willie Snell and his wife Mary, Lillie Mae Snell, Patricia Snell, and Ricky Snell; niece Natasha Armstrong; and a host of cousins, nieces and nephews, and great-nieces and -nephews.
Preceding him in death were his father James and his brother Rudy Snell.
He will be missed tremendously by his family, his dog Muffy, friends, and friends of his daughters for whom he often cooked amazing, delicious meals and baked light, delectable cakes, often from scratch.
In addition to being a cook and baker, Chris was also a gifted artist who left behind lovely cartoon character drawings.
Anyone who came into Chris’s home got to know his open, generous heart, was touched by his spirit, and loved his cooking.
A memorial service was held on Saturday, Feb. 4, at the Lawrence H. Woodward Funeral Home in Brooklyn and it was well-attended, even on one of the coldest days of the year. The room was filled with men who knew Chris from their youth and had been mentored by him. One by one, they went to the podium and shared their warm memories of this man who opened their minds to art, writers (including Edgar Allan Poe), and so much more, while also always being a listening ear. His boyhood friends share tributes as well, along with his younger brother Michael. As family photos played on a screen, some of Chris’s favorite R&B and soul hits played. The services were shared through a live Zoom feed.
“Always” by Atlantic Star was supposed to be our wedding song. I never got to dance to it at our wedding, because the DJ didn’t bring it, but I danced to it with our two daughters as we completed this beautiful service.
My darling, the girls and I, your family, and friends, we will always keep you alive in our hearts!
