The holidays can be a complicated time for lots of folks. For some, it is a time filled with family fun, drama, chaos, matching pajamas, and old memories and habits. It can also be a time to see old family members with whom you may disagree on a host of levels. For others, the holidays are a dreaded experience where memories of lost loved ones loom large. However you decide to spend the holidays, please remember that you can create new memories, new emotions, new habits, and a new narrative.
I recognize that I am extremely lucky in that I actually like hanging out with my family. We are a loud and loving bunch who like to play games and debate the rules of board games with legal precision. We also eat good food and share a cocktail or two. As my dad, an avid basketball fan, often says, “I’m in the fourth quarter! I’m just here to spend time with my kids and grandkids and enjoy life.” Although I am not in the fourth quarter of my life (I pray), I am trying to take his words to heart.
Just as with Thanksgiving, my family has decided not to shackle themselves to the kitchen and instead eat out or order in many of our meals. I am a true believer in my Black American and Caribbean American traditions and there is nothing better than my mother’s collard greens or her pigeon peas and rice and nothing better than my father’s Caesar salad and ceviche. However, what I value more is the time I have to spend with them. So if I get some of my culinary treats once or twice each year, as opposed to every holiday, I will gladly make that trade off. I am realizing that the holidays are much more enjoyable (and the chances for drama are drastically decreased) when everyone is well rested and not feeling pressure to accomplish various tasks.
This year has flown by! It seems like yesterday I was making summer plans. This has also been a very emotionally draining year thinking about politics, the future of our nation, and all of the unrest in the world. What I am choosing to focus on this holiday season are gratitude, grace, and compassion. I find that focusing on all of the abundance surrounding me helps me stay focused on what truly matters. Keeping a gratitude journal is helpful as well. I know practicing grace and compassion with myself has definitely helped me extend it to others.
Have a rest-filled, hopefully family and friend filled, holiday season. Try to downshift as we close out the year and think about what we would like to see for ourselves and others in 2025.
Christina Greer, Ph.D., is an associate professor at Fordham University; author of book “How to Build a Democracy: From Fannie Lou Hamer and Barbara Jordan to Stacey Abrams” and “Black Ethnics: Race, Immigration, and the Pursuit of the American Dream” and is co-host of the podcast FAQ-NYC.
