Ryan J. Haddad is completely vulnerable, funny, candid, vivid, sensitive, and graphic about his first sexual encounter in his one-man show “Hold Me In The Water,” playing at Playwrights Horizons in The Judy Theater on W 42nd Street. He will touch your heart and soul as he performs this piece that he has also written, where he bears his insecurities, his disability, his joys, and his disappointments. A gay man with cerebral palsy, Haddad, who utilizes a walker, has known a very lonely life. In this production, he gives graphic descriptions of the sexual encounter he had with a man with whom he instantly fell in love with on sight.
Sitting in the audience, you automatically realize that Haddad is a phenomenal storyteller who immediately engages his audience. He is also a very sensitive and accommodating person. He lets the audience know that the theater has been set up to accommodate people with disabilities; there is captioning and audio descriptions and an ASL-interpreter; the theater lights are dim; and he encourages people to go to the bathroom if they need to during the show — but no one moved.
As Haddad shares his story with us, you feel like you are in a room with friends, and you are all amused, entertained, stunned at times, but also touched and very sympathetic to the plight he faces every day due to his disability. It is notable how actions most of us take for granted are quite a big deal for Haddad, things like walking on stairs. As he talks about being with a group of people and being the only disabled person, which limits his participation in activities with them, you realize a bit of his reality. When he talks about the man he is attracted to, it is marvelous to hear him speak with such innocence as he wonders about the man reciprocating his attraction. As a disabled person, doing things like going to the beach with a group of people, walking in the sand, and going in the water are not simple feats, but doing this with someone assisting you, lets these actions take on a different meaning. It warms the heart to have someone’s insecurities fade as they experience a new friendship, a new touch, a new emotional awakening, and that is what Haddad experienced.
His story, his energy, and his commitment in telling this true experience, constantly being vulnerable with the audience, and not hesitating to share his most humiliating, insecure moments with such deep emotions will leave you moved. While he graphically describes his sexual encounters with this man, he does so to share his gratitude that he finally got to experience love. Haddad makes sure that the audience realizes that love is not something that is always part of the life of a person who lives with disabilities.
While you have the opportunity to hear his personal story of first love and learn the outcome of that experience, you also have a chance to realize that everyone deserves to be loved. Everyone needs to be loved, even if it’s only once in a lifetime. You will leave the theater knowing that Haddad shared his innermost emotions with you in a gracious, generous, thoughtful way, and you will appreciate his creating this stunning piece of theater.
Danny Sharron brilliantly directs Haddad for an experience you will never forget. With this show, on the technical side, less is more. Scenic design is by dots, costume design by Beth Goldenberg, lighting design by Cha See, and sound design by Tosin Olufolabi.
“Hold Me In The Water” will educate you about the plight of this disabled man, but you will also witness his special gift to go past his pain and create beautiful, intoxicating art. The production will only run through May 4, so make plans to see “Hold Me In The Water.” Visit www.playwrightshorizons.org for more info.