“When a man stops chasing women, he’s old. When he stops chasing headlines, he’s dead…”-Lloyd Gough, “The Invaders” (1967)

Former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee recently said this to Fox News Channel’s obnoxious Bill O’Reilly-comparing his top-rated cable news show to MSNBC: “You’ve got more viewers that get up and go to the bathroom during commercials than they do in total.”

Indeed, “The O’Reilly Factor” has ruled cable news the last 12 years and the latest numbers say it now tops ABC, CBS and NBC, so comparing FNC’s O’Reilly to MSNBC-with mad dog Chris Matthews and maudlin Rachel Maddow-is like Franklin D. Roosevelt to Jimmy Carter. Or Kim Kardashian to Rosie O’Donnell. No contest.

And CNN? It declined after the great Bernard Shaw retired in 2001 but is still superior to MSNBC. Wolf Blitzer remains reliable, but Anderson Cooper is creepy.

How about the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, New York Daily News, New York Post, Washington Post, USA Today, Time and Newsweek? Read ’em and weep.

I take what I see on cable TV news (broadcast news and most of PBS is a joke) and read in papers or magazines with a grain of salt. Except for C-SPAN, most no longer provide objective news but far-left or far-right opinions in disguise by biased pundits.

When watching or reading the news, it’s prudent to know the political agenda. Often it’s blatant-as on MSNBC-but it’s always mean-spirited.

Think about the following: the continuing hit-jobs on the Rev. Al Sharpton by right-wing columnist Andrea Peyser of the New York Post. Her rants include ridiculing his choice by MSNBC as the Monday-Friday host of “Politics Nation” at 6 p.m., as well as bad-mouthing his work. For my money, the incisive Rev. Al is the only one worth watching on this lame network.

Also consider the liberal media’s dismissive treatment of Herman Cain’s presidential candidacy and “9-9-9” tax plan-especially TV news. Even O’Reilly pooh-poohed his chances and ignored his Florida straw poll win over Texas Gov. Rick Perry. Meanwhile, harebrained far-left celebrities such as Janeane Garofalo ridicule Cain for being a Black conservative.

On Oct. 6, a white liberal female pundit on Matthews’ “Hardball” show called Cain “a joke.” In an MSNBC interview the same night, odious Lawrence O’Donnell-without knowing the facts-viciously accused Cain of failing to take part in civil rights activism in the 1960s and avoiding military service during the Vietnam War.

Cain strongly set him straight on both counts. Too bad he didn’t remind O’Donnell that neither Bill Clinton nor Barack Hussein Obama served in the military, and Clinton did, in fact, avoid service in the Vietnam era. Of course, far-left O’Donnell-destroyed nightly in the ratings at 8 p.m. by O’Reilly’s bombast-regularly induces nausea.

On Aug. 18, U.S. Rep. Charles Rangel (D-N.Y.) was nastily disrespected by conservative pundit Laura Ingraham, who was subbing for O’Reilly. After beating him up on issues, she escalated her attack after this innocent remark by Rangel: “Bill O’Reilly told me he had a secret weapon. I didn’t know it was just a pretty girl that he would bring in.”

How about toxic New York Times columnist Paul Krugman? With his head in left-wing sand, he still blames George W. Bush for Obama’s failed policies. Slop spouted by the kooky Krugman demonstrates the continued downhill slide of the once proud Times.

In a symbolic gesture, Donald Rumsfeld-secretary of defense for Bush-canceled his Times’ subscription in the wake of Krugman’s idiotic blog about the 10th anniversary of the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks, which Rumsfeld called “repugnant.”

Wrote Krugman: “What happened after 9/11-and I think even people on the right know this, whether they admit it or not-was deeply shameful. The atrocity should have been a unifying event, but instead it became a wedge issue. The memory of 9/11 has been irrevocably poisoned; it has become an occasion for shame. And in its heart, the nation knows it.”

Ratings-challenged MSNBC reinstated analyst Mark Halperin. The Time magazine editor-at-large was suspended for saying of Obama on June 30: “I thought he was kind of a dick yesterday.” Ironically, Halperin is a leading Obama media sycophant! Go figure.

Another O’Donnell-lightweight Norah, now of CBS, who was with NBC and a regular on Matthews’ Sunday show-contributed little but a cackling laugh. At CBS, she was taken to task by her boss for slipshod coverage of Obama’s bus trip.

On Aug. 15, Newsweek ran an unflattering cover photo of startled-looking U.S. Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.), headlined “The Queen of Rage.” She’s staring wide-eyed at the camera, but the word “rage” isn’t in the profile written by Lois Romano.

And that wasn’t the only time Newsweek used questionable taste in cover photos of conservatives.

In November 2009, the magazine ran a clearly sexist cover shot of gorgeous Sarah Palin-the former Alaska governor-in running gear of black short-shorts and a red sweater. It was headlined: “How do you solve a problem like Sarah?”

Last June-in a goofy rip-off of a poster for the Broadway play “The Book of Mormon”-presidential candidate Mitt Romney was on Newsweek’s cover leaping through the air in shirtsleeves with a black book. The headline was “The Mormon Moment.” Ugh!

Bottom line: I want both sides in political news because I’m savvy enough about politics to make up my own mind. How about you?

And that’s the name of that tune.