As 2024 comes to a close, it is time to put the “No” in November. I remember that years ago, I learned the word “no” is a verb and also a full sentence. So many of us are being pushed and pulled in so many directions, we need a reminder that saying “no” is a way to restore and maintain our own social batteries while also setting boundaries.
I don’t know about you, but the end of the year always has a certain hectic energy for me. I am wrapping up the semester, trying to schedule meetings before the end of the year and preparing for the holiday seasons. I am usually filled with a sense of being overwhelmed with all I need to accomplish before the year ends. As I am being asked to do tasks large and small, it is imperative that I protect my peace and exercise my ability to say no.
Many of us, Black women in particular, are expected to reflexively say yes to requests and figure out how to do it all, even if we sacrifice our own health and well-being to make things happen for others. For some, saying yes fills them with a sense of being needed. However, saying yes too many times does not leave room to include more activities or opportunities into one’s life. It is imperative that the word no becomes a word that is not taboo, but a word that helps lay a foundation for a more sane and healthy existence.
For the remainder of November, then, let’s practice saying no. In doing so, we are not being negative — we are merely making space in our lives to say yes when needed. I know I have come a long way in my efforts to say no, but I still have a long way to go. I am getting better at declining requests to participate on panels or edit journals, but I still agree to far too many requests. I need to remember my golden rule before saying yes — before I commit, the request must satisfy two of three questions: Does it bring me professional advancement? Does it bring me monetary advancement? Does it bring me personal advancement?
Let’s continue to put the no in November and think about what will really fortify us. We are collectively exhausted from the last few years post-Covid, the last few months with national politics, and the last few weeks as the close of the year approaches. It is OK to say no; true friends will understand, family members and co-workers will learn better boundaries, and your body will thank you for giving it a little more rest.
Christina Greer, Ph.D., is an associate professor at Fordham University; author of “Black Ethnics: Race, Immigration, and the Pursuit of the American Dream”; co-host of the podcast FAQ-NYC; and author of the forthcoming book “How to Build a Democracy: From Fannie Lou Hamer and Barbara Jordan to Stacey Abrams.”